A little while ago I was inspired to write “If Men Were Like Candles“.
I considered doing cat breeds but I figure that would just result in…sleeps a lot, licks his own butt, sticks his butt in your face at inopportune moments, poops in a box. And that’s pretty much it. There’s much more available to me with dog breeds.
Now another disclaimer, this is not intended to offend anyone. So if you find this post because you Googled “Men are Dogs” don’t bitch at me. I’m not the one Googling “Men are Dogs”
So without further ado:
The “Jack Russell Terrier” Man
|Jack Russell and Golden Retriever|
Very active, easily excitable, probably enjoys hunting and chasing small animals. A little bit yippy but loyal.
The “Golden Retriever” Man
Affectionate, family oriented, good with children, likes to BBQ with the family or hang out at the beach. I picture a guy in Dockers and a Polo shirt playing with kids in the sand. Sympathetic and caring towards the elderly and blind. Good husband material.
The “English Bulldog” Man
|English Bulldog and Doberman Pinscher|
Constantly on your couch grumbling or sleeping. Probably scratches his balls in public. Drools a lot. Not very energetic and a little rough looking. Potentially unemployed by choice. Probably
drinks a lot of beer and crushes the cans on his forehead before belching.
The “Doberman Pinscher” Man
A little over protective. The kind of guy who will get into a bar fight to defend your honor. Works out A LOT.
Probably wears a lot of black and/or drives a motorcycle.
The “Puli” Man
|Puli and Chinese Crested|
Wears hemp. Owns a Hacky Sack. Face it, he’s probably a slacker and smokes a lot of pot. Quelle Surprise? No. Go buy him some Doritos.
The “Chinese Crested” Man
The metro-sexual. Probably wears skinny jeans,
gets Mani-Pedis, exfoliates and owns more hair products than you do. And lets be honest, he does a decent amount of “Manscaping”.
Sorry guys, I couldn’t resist.