So I'm at a crossroads with the whole therapy thing.
I went really gung-ho at first and got some great insights but now I feel like I've plateaued.
Talking a lot of stuff out has helped me realize WHY I feel the way I do about a lot of things. But so far, I have had no real insight into what to do to help me STOP feeling the way I do.
This whole issue got compounded starting about 2 weeks ago when I attempted to re-schedule one of my appointments because I was dealing with a huge meeting at work and I was afraid that I wouldn't be done in time to make my 5:30pm appoint (which would have resulted in me having to leave the office right at 5:00pm in order to make).
I emailed my therapist the day before explaining the scenario and basically said that I'd rather try to re-schedule than stress about not making it on time or worse yet, not making it on time.
That morning I got a snarky reply about how it was best to not reschedule appointments unless it was an EMERGENCY. And it was unfortunate that my work was resulting in me not being able to have my other needs met. Then resulted in a jab about how she requires 24 hours notice for all cancellations.
Btw....my email request had gone out at about 5:43pm. When by her rules TECHNICALLY it should have gone out by 5:30pm. Really?
Now I may be totally blowing this out of proportion but I was left feeling very uncomfortable about the whole thing. Yes it was unfortunate that my job was resulting in me having to shift an appointment. But the reality is, that I have a job that's not always 9-5 and sometimes it's difficult managing weekly appointments.
I apologized for not giving her a FULL 24 hours notice but given the circumstances did that extra 13 minutes really make or break the deal? And can I mention that she works till 8pm and it took her till after 10am the following day to reply to my message?
Bottom line is yes, it was unfortunate that I had to cancel the appointment. But I didn't appreciate being made to feel guilty about doing so. It's not like I'm constantly changing appointments. And the reality is that weekly appointments are sometimes difficult to manage.
But honestly I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about the whole thing now.
I've been considering taking a break to mentally re-group for a while and now I'm pretty convinced that I may possibly need a different therapist. I may have gone as far as I can go with this particular path and like working out, I need to up my intensity ;)
Because in the grand scheme of things, therapy shouldn't be adding to my stress. And an uncomfortable relationship with your therapist is probably never a good thing.
Thoughts? Recommendations? Am I just batshit crazy?